Rants About Lemons....

Monday, March 21, 2011

Today is has been one of those days. The ones that you can't wait to have them end because they didn't quite go as planned, even though you had nothing planned in the first place. Today is one of those days where rolling with the punches got me a punch in the face instead. Metaphorically that is...

But the thing is, that punch just might have been self inflicted. We all get those days where we just weren't in the right frame of mind to be optimistic. What would usually elicit a nonchalant, "Oh well, Shit Happens", is more likely to result in frantic panic, anger, maybe even tears. I get these days every so often and it usually becomes a moshpit of sadness, pessimism and more often than not paranoia. Yes, paranoia, because suddenly everybody hates me and I'm convinced I'm a horrible person because that friend didn't smile at me as usual, or my friend didn't tell me about a plan and went without me or that guy didn't reply my text. Yeah, it's usually the mundane stuff, that you don't notice on a regular until a day like this shows up.

Now I figure that maybe it's an imbalance of some sort. Hormonal, maybe, except it's not very regular, it just shows up when it damn well chooses to. Nothing extraordinary happens on days like this, it's just that I happen to not be the same. I can't figure out what the predisposition to it could be. The PMS got ruled out ages ago....PMS just makes me teary, leaving me wailing because of everything, from traffic to the lonely looking slice of bread my brother left me in the morning, without considering whether or not I may have wanted more than the last, thin, crusty slice of bread for breakfast.

The moon, maybe? I dunno, that just seems ridiculous...wouldn't that then be a regular thing? 

The really long days towards the end of the month when all thoughts of bills due for payment flood the brain before the salary comes through? Nah....Refer to above reason.

Some sort of mental condition? Disorder? Am I bi-polar? Because that comes with highs and lows...."I'm so happy I'm alive I could kiss the sky" highs to "Why the hell am I even alive" lows....
Food for thought.

Or maybe I should look inwards and list my flaws....Am I self centered? Self absorbed? Because on these days, it's harder for me to see outside myself. It's harder for me to empathize with others. It's harder for me to get out of myself...and to see that there is so much more going on in the world than what it is I'm going through. 

Yes, it may or may not be a hard day. But maybe I just need to center myself more often because when I don't, my core is more prone to being shaken, than on a regular day. 

Methinks these "bad" days have nothing to do with what's going on around me. I figure they have more to do with how I'm faring internally. Many times the punches we inflict on ourselves from inside are harder to heal than those that come from outside. 

So instead of wallowing in my misery and stewing about how awful today was, why don't I work towards reducing these days by working on my core more? Strengthening myself. Learning to aim the punches not at myself, but at the lemons that come my way. Good, hard punches that make loads of lemonade. Or forget lemonade, because I rarely take that. Here's to more Hot Lemon, Honey and Ginger mixes.

Yeah, Grey's Anatomy works wonders on my bad moods but what happens when the season ends? Here's to banishing those bad days.

In the mean time...I promise to start some minimal work out regime tomorrow.
Procrastina shall not be my middle name any longer.
Come to think of it, I had less bad days when I worked out on a regular.

That and more mangoes.


  1. asiii!! (kao accent) i thot i was th only wth this kinda weirdness around her. i totally dnt get it. i almost went to see a psychiatrist of sorts. .

    Such is life, bt now to learn how to aim those punches... :-) :-)

  2. My sister moved my desk, when i was having one of those days, and suddenly i felt unappreciated, irrelevant, like am taking up space in this world meant for better people...because she moved my desk. Then the next day i was so happy i was bleeding rainbows, sunshine was coming outta my ass...am considering bi-polar too:)

    Hope you feel better love, plus it's ur kind of weather:) ur hair is looking luscious...smile

  3. Jacque.....the weirdness is all around....we are not alone!! :-D

    Sugarpuss....it's funny how it just goes downhill so fast, right? Then straight back up like that Petrelli guy who could fly! Heh, such is life.

    I'm great now!! Thanks.

  4. So I had a really horrible day yesterday. No one or nothing triggered it (well maybe what was on my subconscious mind). I'm okay today... that is what matters, that the bad days don't last AND I am not alone :)

  5. Ijustsaidthat......thanks for that...the bad days really don't last!!!

    Nice blog by the way....very nice.

    1. Came back on here, coz today, I'm feeling out of sorts. Just to remind myself that this bad feeling will go away, in the afternoon, tomorrow, soon.

      So glad I did, coz then I saw your comment that you've been to my blog and you liked it. That made me smile :)

      To good vibes.

  6. im feeling the same today, great that i ran into ur blog today !

  7. Shitawa!!! Hope you're feeling better today!


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