So You Are Dating....

Friday, April 8, 2011

This week has been a tad busier than usual, hence the lack of posts, plus I've been re-evaluating a lot of my thought processes about various things, resulting in an inability to coherently string together consistent thoughts in the form of a post. But, while I try to re-establish myself....I have a question to pose to you.
What is dating? What is your definition of it? I ask this, in reference to to the phrase, "No, I'm not in a relationship, but I am dating." What does that mean?
Is dating, seeing one person in particular? Like, I'm dating John. Isn't that then a relationship? Or is it a statement purporting exclusivity but not commitment? And at what point is the exclusivity established?
Is dating, going on dates with several people? Enjoying the company of different suitors in a bid to compare and decide who fares best with regard to commitment suitability? Or even just plain having a good ol' time with different people, with the aim of, well, having a good ol' time?
Does dating involve sleeping with the said exclusive, but not committed to partner, or sleeping with all or some or most of the several suitors? To get a "taste" of the fruit? Would that not be misconstrued as, ummm, being a "of loose morals"? (Disclaimer: I do not subscribe to the application of labels on anyone, at least I don't anymore. It's been an interesting week.)
Back to the topic at hand. What is dating? Does it have one definition or is it something that varies according to individuals? And if that is the case, what if two people who define dating as different things, end up together? How do they go about that?
I would love your take on this.
Cheers.

8 comments

  1. wow interesting topic this one is. I ges like u said, dating is like when one is going out with several people (tho not necessarily sleeping with them) while being in a relationship connotes some commitment and exclusivity implying that one is only going out with a particular person. That ma take.

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  2. I think that dating is going out with one person or several people, trying to get to know them and have a good time too.I think it extends from the first date til yáll decide to be exclusive. Sex depends on the people. However people have different definitions, so you should discuss it so that you are on the same page.

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  3. it's all about semantics. These people who claim to be dating and not in a relationship are sort of trying to convince themselves of something. May be the guy/girl hasn't asked this particular girl/guy whether to take it to the next level. Hence the famous "I'm not in a relationship, i'm just dating". But otherwise if this guy/girl in question is put through a "do not lie test" they would actually say "I'm hoping I am in a relationship, but i just don't get the same feeling from the other party". It's just all about semantics...but what matters really is where the person's head and heart is and not the words that come out of the person's mouth.

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  4. You know this makes me think of something I was once told... "you are single until you are married"; so dating, in a relationship, "f buddies" or whatever you want to call it, is simply defined by the the two people in the relationship and exclusivity must be defined as well. As women we all too well content ourselves with the idea that we are in a "relationship" without establishing the clauses of said relationship. In MY opinion, its all a matter of "contract", once we've agreed on said terms, don't matter what you want to call it as long as you RESPECT it..

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  5. Hey,(I'm new to your blog and i love it!) To me dating is like an interview process, where you get to know the other person, who they are and if you would like to get into a relationship with them. A relationship is exclusive and there's commitment, I think that if you are dating you can sleep together too, as long as both people know what level they at! thank you :-)

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  6. crap crap crap am new to your blog and am not sure whether to call it dating or relationship. my default setting is "i have a girlfriend"

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  7. Thanks guys, I love all your different takes on this....I guess at the end of the day, what counts is what the two parties agree upon, and both mutually respect each others stands.

    Cheers guys, and karibuni all ye newbies, thanks for reading!!

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  8. I think dating is seeing a number of people at the same time. It is a great process,that stops you from getting so caught up on an individual. I personally like to get to know a man through the seasons,so the mask can slide.

    I don't believe in having sex with random people,so no sexing till we are a couple.

    For me to say we are in a relationship,we need to have the 'can we be exclusive' convo. None of that assumed or implied business.

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