|Searching the floor keenly for an answer to the question regarding my identity.|
Who is Patricia? I'm not so sure myself, but I am keen to keep discovering, which is something I do every single day. How I react to and relate to the world around me gives me a far deeper insight into myself than any psychological test ever did, so the fact that I find the killing of livestock purely for our consumption terrible, but at the same time find a well done steak or burger so ridiculously delicious, confuses me sometimes.
I enjoy a lot of things, singing, acting, taking photographs, being on stage doing both, entertaining and making people laugh, and myself laughing till I cry. I've unfortunately been feeling uncertain about sharing all this, which has resulted in fewer posts, and hoards of writing/images and music stockpiled on my drives. Shame.
I am easily distracted, I procrastinate horribly and fall in love deeply. My mind takes me on such epic adventures, both when I'm awake and asleep, and till today I'm not sure which of my childhood memories were dreams and which were lived. Add to that the thousands of books that I read growing up and I can assure you I could regale you with spectacular tales of my "childhood". Yes, I climbed a magical tree, owned duelling crickets and had a friend with a moon for a head. Don't try to convince me otherwise, thank you.
My dreams are another story all together.
I am an avid reader, and can disappear very deeply into books. Lately, over the past three or four years I've found I've been getting very deeply attached to characters in the books I read. So much so that most times I cry when I'm done, subsequently finding it hard to start another, and getting sad about it when I'm done, repeating the cycle until I feel as though I've lost a ton of friends. I miss, very deeply, my darlings Rumi, Shams, Kafka, Harry Potter, Oskar Schell, Toru Okada, Sherine Khalil, Ifem, the list goes on and on and on. Anyone who can help with that, please do.
I am a lover of people, spending time with friends and family, but occasions such as those are far and in between. I suffer some form of social anxiety that has me doubt people's desire to have me around them and I'm not keen to ask them directly about it. The older I get, the less time I spend around people, so I suspect I'll be here a lot more.
Still, I hope you enjoy your time here.